Finally am rested and sane again. Last night my little bro and I followed our mother and moved our barang barang to my uncle's to help him jaga the baby. First night, I heard, was crazy. The baby, they claimed, was like moi. She doesn't sleep.

But last night I was there, she slept the entire night. Hahahah, the power of my presence.

Anyhow, I was glad to meet up with XY for the Swatch Club thingy, not so much for the party, but just to meet up. The job thingy has been giving me the emotional yoyo, and it is giving me all the wrong attention. My mother is always supportive, but my father didn't let me have it easy and I'm hiding it from the rest of the extended family 'cos gods know I don't need extra pressure on my delicate nerves. I have enough of all that shit in my person to mess with my head without people adding more. Set on the career path as I may be, I am afterall a new bird setting out in the working world. I have my share of doubts and fears. I'm not borned into the delusion that all is marshmallows and sunshine. I'm not sure if this is going to be all right. I'd like to think that it's going to be all right. I tried to pick up some courage and be positive, be confident about what I am doing, but I don't know if I know I know what I am doing, although I need to make myself believe that I know what I am doing because gods know that's the only thing I'm going to have to hold on to in uncertain times, so I don't need people messing with the positive thinking mental fortress I'm trying very hard to build for myself, to give myself a goal, a vision, whatever the things people do to their head to hop through life. So it was nice that when I let on about the job, XY understood and gave me the much needed nudge to move me along in the direction, for better or for worst. It's quite amazing how well she actually knows me even in the short span of time we've befriended each other. Now is the time to take risk, and no matter how it turns out, I've to give it a try or I'd never know. If it turns out well, great. If it doesn't, then well, I've tried and I know now, I can move on. And I would have learnt something on this job that could be useful for the next job. Bottomline, just go do it and do my best, then we'll see how it turns out. That's really all the affirmation I needed to ease my mind and I'm glad I got it from her. Maybe it's the job she's in now that makes her exclaim that all jobs suck anyway, haahahha. She just know the right things to say, and the remaining nerves that ain't calmed, well, there's always beer. The engineering intern needs a lot of that, I suspect.

I'm studying for my 2nd adviser exam now, which is going to be tough because not only is the book double the thickness of the first, the content is much more dense and is of the, ahem, mathematical nature. But I've the consolation knowing that I'm not the only one suffering, muahahaha. The rest of them still have the 1st paper to worry about, but I've called them all after mine to tell them what to take note of. Did I mention that my soon-to-be colleagues have been uber supportive and cool? My exam last Friday was early in the morning and around 8, when I was frantically mugging on the super crowded train, I've all these smses coming in from them wishing me the best of luck. It was a nice surprise 'cos I didn't think they would remember my exam date, much less wake up early in the morning to sms me. My soon-to-be manager also called me to ha-la with me while I was waiting to get in the exam room. So much love, must study hard. :)