Hey dudes, it's been a looooong time!
Time has been passing so fast, I'm beginning to feel afraid. Just one more week it's midterm break! I wonder if I can call my current state of affair an existential crisis. It does feel like one as I'm seriously contemplating about life and my take on it. I keep thinking that I should cherish the people around me more because they may die anytime, or I may die anytime, and things keep happening and time keeps moving on, I have a crazy urge to hold it still, and I can't, and I'm constantly afraid that I'm missing out things that once gone I would never be able to get it back.
For once, I want to go out and do some crazy things without fear and without care, but that would have to wait until I figure out what crazy things I am actually capable of doing. Woe, the problem with being so sensible and rational, and so much pride!
***
Moving on to the daily state of affairs. My brother came down with some mysterious ailment last night and had to be rushed to SGH. He was there around 2, but only got to see doctor at 7. Moral of the story -- don't anyhow fall sick in the middle of the night during this period. 'Cos apart from the loooong wait, you also have to put downpayment $70 straight, regardless of whether you have cardiac arrest or a cough. Very not worth it.
Friday night Ghim's party on the yacht -- oh my god, so surreal! First time I saw the highway from another angle, and machiam like looking at postcard! I was a bit dizzy at first, especially when we were in the room, but I started to enjoy myself when we moved out to the front of the yacht. The wind! The view! The quiet! Oh my fhaslfjhsaflsha! We started from Clifford, passed Sentosa, St. John Island, and then I think ... was it Kusu island? Hmm, in any case, we reached the boundary (South-China Sea?), stopped and had dinner, which was good as was better than buffet food.
Later on, we girls moved to the front again, sat there and chit-chat, and Karen had her most embarrassing moment ever. Bing was again saying that my sa jiao-ing is getting 'serious', and then I just had to deny it with the most dei voice I'm ever consicous of using (so most of the time, I really DUNNO that I am sa jiao-ing! serious case!), completed with hand twisting the hair in manner of ... well, I dunno, but I guess you can imagine. I am so horrible! This cannot continue! I MUST CONTROL SELF. Thou shalt not manifest into cutesy high-pitch pixie, Karen! Thou cannot be! It simply cannot be so! CONTROL!
But I have to admit, it was fun. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I even had to blink back tears. :D
All in all, Ghim's party was fun 'cos it's special. And I got to meet some friends I haven't seen in a long time! And everyone looked different! Wah, really 岁月不留人.
Also also, I have to say this -- Yanyan's hair beri nice! Wonder how she maintains it. Hmm.
Friday night Ghim's party on the yacht -- oh my god, so surreal! First time I saw the highway from another angle, and machiam like looking at postcard! I was a bit dizzy at first, especially when we were in the room, but I started to enjoy myself when we moved out to the front of the yacht. The wind! The view! The quiet! Oh my fhaslfjhsaflsha! We started from Clifford, passed Sentosa, St. John Island, and then I think ... was it Kusu island? Hmm, in any case, we reached the boundary (South-China Sea?), stopped and had dinner, which was good as was better than buffet food.
Later on, we girls moved to the front again, sat there and chit-chat, and Karen had her most embarrassing moment ever. Bing was again saying that my sa jiao-ing is getting 'serious', and then I just had to deny it with the most dei voice I'm ever consicous of using (so most of the time, I really DUNNO that I am sa jiao-ing! serious case!), completed with hand twisting the hair in manner of ... well, I dunno, but I guess you can imagine. I am so horrible! This cannot continue! I MUST CONTROL SELF. Thou shalt not manifest into cutesy high-pitch pixie, Karen! Thou cannot be! It simply cannot be so! CONTROL!
But I have to admit, it was fun. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I even had to blink back tears. :D
All in all, Ghim's party was fun 'cos it's special. And I got to meet some friends I haven't seen in a long time! And everyone looked different! Wah, really 岁月不留人.
Also also, I have to say this -- Yanyan's hair beri nice! Wonder how she maintains it. Hmm.
***
Okay, now, Thursday. I went to Engine canteen (on Chin Siong's recommendation) with Shilin to have dinner, and I must say I suspect Engine food might just be better than Arts'. As it stands now, the Jap food is definitely better. Just remember to grab a side seating, near the grass, cos the canteen very warm and stuffy one. Nice decor, though. And no problem finding seats.
I had a long chat with Shilin, and I unexpectedly admitted something to her, after which a lot of things just poured out of me. I think I've gotten so used to being rational and in control and poised, I don't even realise when I am suppressing myself, and telling lies (as in, 口是心非), and being, in a nutshell, inconsistent about what I am feeling. I'm not saying that the state of affairs is as it has been thus-far interpreted, as I still do suspect that I may be wrong about what is happening to me, but at least after the talk, I am more willing to consider that it may be a possibility.
Then last night I had an anxiety attack over the matter and was acting all drama-queenish over MSN with Bing. Okay, it's not as serious as it sounds, but I have been out of character, and generally weird. Today I went running (best time to think!), and I figured Bing is right. I shouldn't worry so much about it. So now it's back to my old stunt -- sitting through it. Crazy times, no matter how crazy, will pass. Patience and poise. *strike yoga pose*
I had a long chat with Shilin, and I unexpectedly admitted something to her, after which a lot of things just poured out of me. I think I've gotten so used to being rational and in control and poised, I don't even realise when I am suppressing myself, and telling lies (as in, 口是心非), and being, in a nutshell, inconsistent about what I am feeling. I'm not saying that the state of affairs is as it has been thus-far interpreted, as I still do suspect that I may be wrong about what is happening to me, but at least after the talk, I am more willing to consider that it may be a possibility.
Then last night I had an anxiety attack over the matter and was acting all drama-queenish over MSN with Bing. Okay, it's not as serious as it sounds, but I have been out of character, and generally weird. Today I went running (best time to think!), and I figured Bing is right. I shouldn't worry so much about it. So now it's back to my old stunt -- sitting through it. Crazy times, no matter how crazy, will pass. Patience and poise. *strike yoga pose*
***
In other news, I'm very happy in/with my lit class. Totally enjoying lit. Unheard of in the past year.
posted by Hubba @ 9:00 PM
2 Comments:
U paid only $70 at SGH? The other time I had to pay $80 man... damn it. Did I get cheated? Anyway, hope ur bro's fine...A&E's always such a long wait. And woman ar... dun think so much la... u sound like u r facing some crisis lei...
Oh... that was me
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