A while back I wrote an entry ranting about academia, and how university studies is killing students' passion for their subjects. Recently, I've caught wind of some news of a senior that makes me wonder more about the pitfall that is university.

My senior from junior college is a talented and intelligent woman. Straight As, S Papers, and all, and wonderfully talented as an artist. She is also very nice, and was a MOE scholar, formerly reading English Literature at NUS. I'd saw her when I first entered university, but had not seen her since second semester, and had not thought much of it.

If she had stayed on this year, she would be doing her honours, and I have no doubt she would graduate with a first class. Pity she didn't.

Here's the catch: she quitted school, and broke her bond. Currently suffering the consequences, but has no regrets about it.

Why?

She was so sick with the way the subject was taught, she lost all heart and passion, she decided to quit. I heard that the Dean tried very hard to persuade her to stay, listening to her unhappiness with the faculty, but they couldn't reach a compromise. So, she left without the degree.

I think I can understand where she's coming from. There is something unsatisfying with the way things are taught and learnt at higher level, but I wonder if it's a problem unique to NUS.

See, Literature, like most humanities subjects, are not meant to be consumed in a rush. But given the constraint of Time in undergraduate studies, it seems almost inevitable.

I sometimes also wonder if Literature is meant to be taught. Because the idea of it is a rather passive one, and is thus limiting to someone who is not only striving to gain knowledge but to stimulate new ones.

Institutional studying, in general, is not condusive for intellectual adventures, I feel.

We have to meet deadlines, we have to absorb information like a sponge, and we have to worry ourselves mad about results. Results - no matter what people always try to argue the contrary - ultimately still matters. Even I, who propose learning in processes, have my angst with results as the eventual be all and end all.

It is very hard to be Zen in sunlit Singapore, let alone a scholar (of learning, not of any organisation). So utterly depressing.