I think I can safely assume that on average, normal people get upset at least twice a month or more, especially in a high-stress environment such as the university. I've only just realised how important it is to have regular outburst of emotions. It makes things more bearable, and makes you healthier. The case of an oddball like me, who can ever only get depressed (seriously depressed) once in a decade on average, is bad, because when I finally get my outburst, it's a one-time overflow of powerful emotions strong enough to blow Wordsworth into pieces, and it is awful. I don't know what was up with me yesterday, but with all the shit piled up on me within 24-hours, when I was at my most vulnerable (what an idea), I am justifiably depressed. Not just sulk-sulk-pout-pout depressed, my dears. It's full-blown want to kill someone then kill myself kinda depression. I don't think there's any way I can impress upon you all how bad it was because I believe everyone is just so used to me being strong and calm and cool and devil-may-care. I myself have only just realised last night how vulnerable I can get, and I'm really no better than anyone on earth. I've always trusted myself to be strong enough to block anything out, but even then, I guess I'm just human (and not just woman) enough to be vulnerable and weak and useless once in a long while.

But the good news is, peeps, I believe the worst is over.

Shit comes fast and it goes fast. I hesitate to compare myself to a toilet bowl, but I think it is quite an appropriate metaphor there, so here comes. My mechanism works like a toilet bowl - shit comes, I scream, and I'll flush it all down, and it'll be all gone in a second.

Today is a brand new day, and I can feel the old me coming back. Old me, as in the JC me. Yesterday, even the most trivial thing like dropping my phone can get me into hysterics. Today I woke up to find my marked autobiography assignment missing (it has to be handed in today with the rewrite) and I didn't even bat an eye. How strange that my emotional threshold fluctuates faster than Wall Street in an oil crisis.